Chinook Technology Consultants

Edgefield Timewarp

Last night I must have discovered some sort of vortex, a wrinkle in the time space continuim perhaps, as I swear to golly gee that I was transported back to 1996!

I found myself back at the frat-house sleeping porch, trying to catch some sleep while music was blaring in the background… although we never had a Hasidic Jewish Reggae band playing at UW
matisyahu

Anyhow… I amazingly get to sleep and then around 2:45am, the drunk parade comes knocking at the door (litterally). Apparently hotel magnetic-strip key locks are a HUGE challenge for those under the influence. The first wave of intoxicated wankers spent 5 minutes trying to open the door with their key. Finally as access was granted, and in rolled two HUGE drunk doods who turned on the light in the room and stumbled back out. Sweet.

The next wave of uber hard partiers made their attempt at the door lock around 4:15am. This gang seemed a bit more with it, perhaps power in numbers was on their side… and they got in on like the 8th try at the lock. There was I’m guessing 5 peeps in this crew, a bit more stealth, and they actually passed out.

Finally at around 5am, wave #1 returned to finally pass out. This was a bit comical as homeboy could not for the life of himself figure out the door lock. This ASS NINJA started to knock on the door when he couldn’t get the door to open. I was wide awake, and could have easily walked 10 feet to let him in, but I was enjoying his drunken antics.

He gives up after about 5 minutes of knocking and silence is mine again.

Footsteps are then heard in the hallway again, stumbling bumbling footsteps. The ASS NINJA is back!!! Again, ninja boy couldn’t open the lock and he started to pound on the door. My passed-out hostel-mates were oblivious to the tool on the other side of the door… meanwhile i’m wide awake relishing in this dudes lack of motor skills.

So the above repeats itself one more time and the guy finally gets into the room. 5:30am. Of course he flops down his largeness on the bunk next to mine, and after passing out in a record 1 minute begins snoring louder than his aforementioned pounding on the doors. Excellent.

I quickly realized that sleep was not going to happen again, and I suppose the humor of Ass Ninja’s door antics had got my mind going so I called it ‘wake up time’ and went on with my day.

Note to self: Hostel sleeping so not hot right now.

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Timmy Crawford's
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